The loneliness creeps in at night, unwanted, uninvited, unbothered and frightening, yet we’re familiar, the uncomfortable feeling that sets in, but I lay with you and you know my every secret, every ache, the tingly feeling running through my now dampened skin because I’m afraid to lay with my loneliness and yet I do this every night.

I don’t know the warm feeling, the feeling of having someone, even something to ease my nerves, but I know you, I know you who destroys my sleep, who watches my body clench in fear of my life, my heart, my regrets, if not you? Do I drink a little more or pop another pill? How do I stop you from invading my peace? How do I stop you from drowning me in guilt and sorrow? You draw my tears until I’m dry, you scare my soul until I sweat, you enter my dreams and I’m trapped in fear.

I beg you to leave, but you can’t because I created you, I feed you all my pain and now you’re more than me, more than what I can control.